Digestif
by Pandamega
Summary: Obligatory coffee-shop AU gone awry. ZoSan. Ace tries to hook his buddy Zoro up with the cute waiter at the bakery, what ensues is disaster. One shot.


Working two jobs to make rent, wasn't that the millennial experience if there was one. Baker by day, bartender by night, Sanji could do it all, except sleep and have a social life. How he longed to trade places with his customers, on dates, meeting friends, buying drinks for beautiful strangers. He wanted that fateful encounter in the coffee shop! Something to give his life that little extra excitement! Someone to stifle the sting of loneliness in his heart.

He laughed with a cynical smile, no, he would continue flattering his female customers and being shy and terse towards the handsome males. It was his eternal, fatal flaw. He couldn't be honest with his feelings, so he directed all his affection towards the fairer sex and hid away his desires for the cruder one. Alas, woe was he.

* * *

"A coffee shop though?" asked an exasperated green-haired man.

"Yes!" replied his dark-haired and lightly freckled friend.

"Ace, no."

"Zoro, yes.

The two good friends got along on most subjects unless it came to Zoro's social life. It would be generous to call him a recluse, he was a caveman. All he did outside of work was eat, sleep, and workout. If he never had to talk to another human, he would be perfectly content. This was altogether unacceptable in Ace's mind. The sociable and extroverted man was the only positive influence on Zoro's life, besides his brother, who was in a league of his own when it came to being outgoing.

"Look Zoro… You're going to _love_ this place. I'm telling you."

"What is there to love about overpriced coffee - which I don't drink - and girly pastries?"

"First of all, they have more than just coffee, second of all, girly pastries are the most delicious pastries, and speaking of delicious, there's something, or rather someone, even _more_ delicious there." Ace wiggled his eyebrows and elbowed his friend suggestively.

"Oh no, this is another one of your terrible hookup ideas. Absolutely no way in hell."

"Well too bad, because we're here."

The pair had been walking home from work, or rather, walking to the coffee shop from work, which Zoro hadn't noticed. His sense of direction was so terrible that he was oblivious to the fact that they had started walking in the opposite direction from home.

The door made a little "ding" when they entered the cool, air conditioned shop, escaping the hot and humid summer air.

"Welcome, I'll be with you shortly," came a voice from across the small shop.

Ace looked back at his green-haired friend, beaming. Zoro studied the room, looking for the person Ace was trying to set him up with, so he could prepare himself to be as cold and uninterested as possible. A cute waitress was serving tea, she had a charming smile and was not at all Zoro's type. He looked away from the girl in time to notice a waiter approaching them. He was tall and slender with a curtain of smooth blonde hair framing his face, parted so that it obscured his right eye. He was the one, Zoro realized as his chest thumped. Damn, Ace was good. Zoro slinked behind his friend to that the waiter wasn't in full view.

When Sanji saw the familiar face enter the shop he put on a playful scowl and said, "you!"

"You!" replied Ace, laughing.

"I thought I told you to stay away," the waiter threatened dramatically.

"Nothing could keep me away from your hot buttered scones, Sanji."

Sanji broke out laughing, and Zoro couldn't help but smile at the endearing, albeit theatrical display.

"Who's this, did you bring a date with you?" Asked the waiter as he led them to a table.

"Yes," Zoro replied instantly, seeing this as a chance to throw a wrench in his friend's scheme. He even went so far as to take Ace's arm awkwardly in his.

Ace looked at him in shock, pulling his arm away and whispering urgently, " _what are you doing!"_

Zoro replied with a sly grin that seemed to say, "good luck with your plan now."

To both Ace and Zoro's surprise the waiter stammered and flushed saying, "O-oh, how, uh, precious."

The person Ace had brought along was a dream of a man. Broad shoulders, sun-kissed skin, rugged features, and rippling muscles barely contained under his earthy green t-shirt. Sanji had prepared himself to act coldly towards the man, as usual, only to discover that he was Ace's b-boyfriend which meant that he was gay. Actually that meant Ace was also interested in men, which was news to Sanji. His secret identity wanted to jump out and shout "Me too!"

But _shit_ , where did Ace find a man like _that_. He felt his resolve crumble. Now that he knew they were kindred spirits he suddenly felt awkward, like his false persona had been completely exposed from the start.

"Your menus," Sanji stammered, offering the couple a pair of menus when they sat. The green haired man had his eyes fixed on Ace dreamily. Wow. Sanji was inexplicably jealous. He wanted something like that, to be able to go out with his man on a date in public with no shame, hell, just to have a date at all. Sanji turned away, letting the men enjoy each other's company while they reviewed the menu.

"What the fuck are you doing Zoro?!" Ace whispered loudly.

"Ruining your plan," replied the green-haired man nonchalantly.

"You saw the guy didn't you? He's totally you're type isn't he? Why would you ruin a chance like this just to spite me?! Are you that self-destructive?!" Ace was exasperated, bewildered, he had to get this guy's act together.

True, the waiter was fine as hell, charming, funny, and adorable. But Zoro would be damned if Ace got away with his plan.

Sanji returned to the kitchen, a maddening flush splashed on his cheeks. What a perfect couple. Ugh. His heart ached. Sanji, the hopeless romantic, could only dream of something like that. If only he could get his head out of his ass and fess up to his true feeling when it came to guys!

Sanji returned to their table to take their orders to find an awkward atmosphere between them.

"Are you gentlemen ready to order?"

"Yes," said Zoro with finality, closing the menu in front of him, "I'll have a cup of matcha and an almond croissant. What about you, babe?"

 _Babe_ , Sanji felt a pang in his heart.

"Zoro, that's enough," Ace stated sternly, then looked up at Sanji with pleading, apologetic eyes, "Sanji, I'm sorry to drag you into this. We're not dating."

"What?" Sanji and Zoro both said at once, Sanji incredulously, Zoro with feigned indignation.

"Zoro's just being stubborn because I brought him here to meet you."

Sanji was reeling from the revelations. The perfect couple wasn't a couple? Zoro was here to meet _him_? That must mean… Ace _knew_? Sanji simply smiled to hide his utter bewilderment and nervousness.

"I'm sorry but I don't follow."

Ace sighed, "My friend is a lonely asocial bonehead who would rather pretend he's dating me than have to figure out how to flirt with someone amazing like you."

" _Ace_!" Zoro growled, embarrassed.

Sanji merely smiled, brain on hold, and began operating on autopilot. "So a cup of matcha and an almond croissant, anything else?"

"Sanji.." Ace sobbed

"Ace you broke him," muttered Zoro.

Ace studied the waiter before asking sheepishly, "Can I have the chocolate cheese cake…"

"One chocolate cheesecake coming right up!" Sanji confirmed with the same artificial smile plastered on his face.

 _What the hell is going on._

Sanji was so confused, his heart was racing, to be honest this was getting too complicated and he just wanted it to end. From what it sounded like, Ace was trying to set him up with Zoro, but how did ace know Sanji liked men in the first place? Oh god, was it that obvious? He had made every effort to appear as heterosexual as possible. But the good news was the incredibly sexy green-headed man was gay too, except, he had gone so far as to pretend he was with Ace to avoid flirting with Sanji. Oh god, everything was terrible.

"Sanji?" came a soft female voice, "are you okay?"

The baker came out of his agonized trance, "Oh, Carrot, sorry, just had something on my mind."

Carrot frowned, "If your table is giving you trouble I can take it for you," she suggested.

"Ah, no, it's okay, I just have to bring them… what was it… what did they order? Oh right, matcha, croissant, cheesecake." Sanji busied himself preparing and warming the items.

Ace and Zoro sat at the table arguing with each other under their breath,

"Look what you did, he's so upset!"

"This was all your idea in the first place!"

"Yeah and it would have been fine if you didn't pull that ridiculous stunt!"

"Shh he's coming"

They both shut their mouths and looked at their hands shamefully when Sanji arrived wearing an awkward smile.

"Your matcha and almond croissant sir," he said, placing a fragrant pastry and a warm cup of green frothy liquid in front of Zoro. "And your chocolate cheesecake," he said presenting the tall, dark slice of cheesecake. "I hope you enjoy."

The waiter walked off without continuing the conversation, and Ace and Zoro went back to their bickering under their breath, while stuffing their faces.

"Why didn't you say anything?"  
"What was I supposed to say?"

"It's so awkward now, we totally ruined that guy's day."

"No, _you_ ruined it."

"No, this was _your_ idea, you ruined it."

"Zoro, you have to leave him your number."

"I _what_?!" Zoro hissed.

"You like him right? You've gotta fix this weirdness, give him your number," Ace insisted.

"Why?! He probably doesn't even like me! He must think we're both complete freaks."

"Just do it okay! I'll pay for your shit, just leave him your number!"

"You owe me."

"Just trust me on this, okay."

The rest of the meal went by awkwardly. Ace paid for the pastries and Zoro took the pen and receipt, writing down his number deliberately.

Sanji was emotionally exhausted and flustered by the time the pair had left. He picked up the bill and was surprised to find a scribble of handwriting on it. The note was barely legible, but he could make out the words, "Sorry for being weird. Give me a chance? Zoro" followed by a phone number. Sanji blushed furiously. The sexy bastard left him his number, but what if this was another one of the man's tricks? Oh- His life was agony!

Scrutinizing the number he found that… he couldn't read it. At all. It might have read 508-745-9922, but it also could have read 805-298-4477, or 505-248-9472, or literally any other combination of those numbers because somehow the 5's looked like 8's and the 4's looked like 9's and even the 7's looked like 2's. This was a disaster. This was definitely another trick. Life was despair, woe was he.

* * *

"So did he call you?" Ace asked his friend eagerly.

"Nope."

"A text?"

"Nothing."

"Dammit."

Zoro shrugged, this was nothing new. He was a scary looking guy, and didn't exactly set off the average gay-dar, and he was also very asocial, so romance, chance encounters, and all of that bullshit never really worked out for him. He was a little disappointed though, he had to admit. The baker boy was beautiful, the almond croissant was the best girly pastry he'd ever had too. He had been tempted to go back to the bakery for a second chance, but the embarrassment and the possibility that the blonde wasn't interested in him were too much for him to handle.

"Let's go drinking tonight," the dark-haired man suggested, "There's this new bar that's supposed to have lots of different craft beer."

Zoro groaned, "bars are too expensive, I'd rather do my drinking at home."

"That's because you're an antisocial alcoholic."

"Am not."

* * *

Tonight was like any other night at the bar. As the hours grew later, Sanji's guests grew rowdier. Fortunately this was a rather upscale bar, so he didn't have to deal with terribly unsavory characters, but his customers were still a handful.

Just past midnight a couple more guests showed up at the bar, Sanji glanced over only to see a familiar face.

"You!" he declared, pointing at Ace.

"You!" replied ace, pointing back as per their usual antics.

"You!" said Sanji again, now noticing the green haired man.

"Uh…." Zoro wasn't sure how to proceed with this.

"Sanji, I had no idea you worked here," Ace smiled.

Sanji wasn't sure if he was happy or not seeing the two clowns that had thoroughly messed with his head on their last meeting, but he replied cordially, "yeah, it's a new gig."

"Zoro aren't you lucky," Ace jabbed Zoro in the ribs, "Sanji, he was just _dying_ to see you again."

"Shut up," Zoro said looking away to hide the flush on his cheeks.

Sanji couldn't tell if Ace was being serious or not, but he felt his heart jump into his throat at seeing Zoro again. His brain went back on autopilot and he asked them what they'd have to drink.

Ace looked up at the specials list, "does that say _mead_?" he asked in awe.

"Why yes it does! It's a local brew with some citrus notes, it's very refreshing," replied Sanji.

"I'll have that, but damn Sanji, you're a cook and a bartender, you can do it all," Ace winked, "makes me wish I was single."

Sanji flushed, quickly turning to prepare the man's drink. "Ace, you're in a relationship?" He asked, turning back and handing the drink to Ace, then asking in a quiet voice, "and how did you even know that I'm… you know…"

Ace winked and tapped at his temple, "I've got the magic eye. Homo-vision. No one can slip through. Not even this guy," he gestured towards the green haired man to his right who certainly didn't set off Sanji's own perceptive gay-dar. "And my man should be coming by after he gets off work," he smiled a giddy smile.

The bartender turned nervously towards the quiet and attractive green haired man, "Zoro, right? Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Beer," he answered simply.

Sanji made an awkward laugh, "We offer over two dozen different beers here… what kind of beer do you like?"

Zoro frowned, "strong."

This man was funny. "Do you like IPA's? Stouts? Do you like them smooth or hoppy?"

The green man's brow creased, he'd never had to think this hard about beer before.

"Why don't you have one of the tasting trays? I'll choose five for you to try," suggested Sanji.

Zoro grunted in agreement, still unable to meet the man's face.

"Zoro you're acting so shy, this isn't like you," Ace whispered to his friend.

"I'm talking to a guy that didn't call me after I gave him my number! It's awkward!" he hissed back.

Sanji returned with a wooden tray holding five small glasses filled with amber liquid, some a very dark chocolatey color, others a light honey color.

"Try this one first," the bartender offered, handing his guest the lightest colored beverage. "That's a pale summer ale, very hoppy, with lemon and subtle ginger undertones."

Zoro took a large swallow, raising his eyebrows at the bright, refreshing taste. "Oh, I like it."

"Great!" Sanji smiled a warm, genuine smile that sent Zoro's heart a flutter. "Let's try this one next, here we have an amber ale, it has a more malty flavor and might have a slightly sweet, caramel touch."

"Oh, I like this too."

Sanji laughed, "Okay try this one," the bartender was getting into this, he loved watching people enjoy food and drink, and this moss-head seemed to enjoy everything. "This one is a bavarian dark lager, much more smooth, dry, and strong, with a slight nuttiness and subtle vanilla notes."

"Ah, this one's really good." Zoro smiled. He finally looked up and met the bartender's eyes. They were a beautiful blue that looked almost violet in the warm lighting of the bar.

"Three for three so far, I'm on a roll," Sanji ginned, steadying his heart from meeting the handsome man's eyes, "Now try this, it's an oatmeal stout with coffee and chocolate notes."

"Mm, I taste the chocolate," Zoro was really getting into this, and he was beginning to feel more comfortable around the attractive bartender.

"Lastly we have an imperial porter," Sanji handed the man the darkest of the beers, "it's made with roasted barley and has a nice smokey flavor."

"Wow, that's nice," Zoro nodded appreciatively. He went back and finished off each one with satisfaction.

"Which one was your favorite?" the bartender asked.

Zoro pondered, "hmm… Probably the last one, it was the strongest," he laughed and ran his hand through his hair. "What's your favorite?"

Sanji smiled, "I also like the porter, it's more like a wine than a beer, strong, smooth, I like the ones with chocolate and coffee notes too. I'm not as much a fan of IPA's and very bitter beers."

Zoro nodded though he really wasn't familiar with the different names.

Ace had been watching the exchange with a smug grin while he sipped his mead with great satisfaction. When his phone buzzed he looked down to see that his date had arrived. Looking around, he spotted the man with a bright blond tuft of hair on top of his head and lazy, sensual eyes that stopped Ace's heart every time he looked in them.

"Marco!" The dark haired man swung off his seat and into his lover's arms shamelessly. Sanji looked on in surprise and thinly veiled envy.

Now _this_ is the perfect couple, the bartender thought.

Glancing back at his friends, Ace grinned devilishly and said, "give us a moment, we'll be right back" before waltzing off, Marco's arm wrapped around his waist.

"Ugh, they're probably gonna go make out in a corner," Zoro muttered.

"I think it's rather sweet," Sanji admitted. Zoro looked away and blushed.

After a pause, Zoro finally asked the question that had been weighing heavily on him, "you… didn't call."

Sanji laughed cynically, to the green-haired man's dismay. He slipped his hand into his pocket pulling out a piece of paper and slamming it on the bar, catching Zoro's attention immediately.

"What the fuck is this?"

Zoro glanced down at the crumpled receipt in surprise. It was the same receipt from a week before, with his handwriting and phone number scrawled across it. He flushed, and defensively declared, "it's my number, dumbass."

"Oh, is that what it was, I couldn't tell because the penmanship looked like it was scribbled by a drunken gorilla."

"Huh?" Zoro growled.

"How is it possible for your fives to look like eights, your fours to look like nines, and your sevens to look like twos? I swear I thought this was another dirty prank you moss-brained shithead."

Zoro's mouth was agape at the bartender's 180 in personality, then the corner of his mouth quirked into a snicker. "Tsundere," he chuckled.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

"What did you call me?"

The green haired man grinned, "nothing at all."

Before the argument could continue, Marco and Ace returned, lips more red and puffy than before.

"Sanji, meet Marco, Marco, this is that waiter I was telling you about," Ace said with a wink.

Marco smiled in recognition, offering the bartender a handshake. The couple noticed that Zoro and Sanji were intentionally avoiding each other's eyes, and he looked to the bartender with concern.

"What's tsundere?" Sanji asked, turning so that his body was facing away from Zoro to ignore him.

Ace laughed, "Did he call you that? He's whipping out the Japanese already."

"It's Japanese?"

"Yeah, I think it means a person who acts hostile and cold towards people because they're afraid to show affection."

Sanji's face went red, his eyes flicked towards the man with green hair with rage, only to notice that he was wearing a smug smirk.

"Well what's the term for a boneheaded peabrain with grass growing out of his skull who can't even legibly write his own number?" fumed the barkeep.

Marco laughed, "I think that's called a 'Zoro.'"

The green haired man glared at the older man, crossing his arms and saying, "Better than being a pineapple head."

At this they all laughed and Ace quipped, "I love pineapple."

Marco grinned, "Well this pineapple head want's to take his handsome date home for the night, so if you'll excuse us," he stood up to pay his tab, leaving Zoro with a surprised expression.

"You guys are leaving?" Zoro asked.

Ace winked, "I think you've got this covered on your own."

Zoro frowned with uncertainty.

Sanji tended to the rest of his customers while Zoro sat alone at the bar. When Sanji returned he chanced a question, "so how late are you working tonight?"

The bartender flushed again, which was doing a devastating number to Zoro's heart. "I'm closing up tonight at two AM."

Zoro sighed, leaning back and feigning reluctance, "guess I just have to hang out for another hour."

The bartender's heart skipped a beat and he looked down, "Just don't scare off the customers."

"I can't make any promises, there's no saying what I might do if someone else makes a move on you."

Turning away to hide the wildfire spreading across his cheeks, Sanji said, "I can take care of myself, shit head!" then slammed another beer down in front of the green-haired man, "It's not like I want you here."

Zoro smirked, taking the beer which he hadn't ordered and muttered, "tsundere."

The drunken customers slowly trickled out of the bar until it was only the two of them, Sanji printing out receipts, cashing out and cleaning up, and Zoro sitting at the bar, sipping at his third beer. The bartender seemed to have relaxed now that the crowd of customers was gone.

"My tab," he finally said, sliding his credit card across the bar and towards the bartender who was facing away from him.

Sanji turned, placed his hand over the card and slid it back, "It's on the house, shithead," he said cooly.

Zoro looked back with surprise, and then a grateful smile, "aren't you generous."

"Shut up, I was afraid that lawn on your head would dry out if I didn't keep watering it."

Zoro laughed.

"Actually, here, I want you to try this," Sanji's expression changed and he prepared a small liquor glass and pulled a bottle off the shelf behind him, "You're Japanese right? We just got this, tell me if it's any good, it's plum wine." The bartender was excitedly pouring a sip of the liquor into the glass.

Zoro took, "Ume-shu?" he said curiously, then sipped it, "yep, that's the stuff. This one is nice, it's not overly sweet."

Sanji beamed, pulling another bottle down, "Okay try this," he offered, pouring a sip of another.

" _Wow_ , that's like… fancy fire water," Zoro laughed, feeling a very pleasant burning sensation in his throat.

"It is! It's a digestif, Eau de Vie which means the water of life. You're supposed to drink it after a meal to help you digest. It's a strong infusion of fruit and herbs."

"I'm learning so much about alcohol today. Are you trying to get me drunk?"

Sanji laughed, "You don't look like the alcohol has even phased you."

"Nope. Liver of steel." Zoro grinned, patting his toned stomach. "You almost done?"

"Just finishing up," the bartender said, suddenly feeling a rush of nervousness. He hadn't spent time with another person outside of work in ages, and he honestly wasn't even sure how to compose himself in a normal setting. Would Zoro think he was awkward? Hopefully he's had enough alcohol not to care…

When the register was cashed out and the bar wiped down, Sanji pulled off his apron and finally walked around to the front of the bar to meet Zoro. Under the apron he had been wearing a slim fitting navy button down with a black vest that complimented his lean body. Zoro couldn't stop his eyes from travelling up and down and back up the bartender's attractive build, and he was feeling slightly giddy from the alcohol, though nowhere near drunk.

Zoro stood, strode over to Sanji and looped a finger into the top of his vest, pulling slightly. Sanji looked down at the invading hand, and when he looked back up Zoro's face was close, breathing softly on his lips. He could feel the heat radiating from Zoro's face and onto his burning cheeks, his heart was pounding out of his chest. A second hand slid around the back of his neck and into his hair sending a shiver up his spine and an electric jolt to his stomach. Zoro tilted his head slightly to bring their faces closer and whispered, "Can I?"

Sanji answered by closing the distance between them with ardour, pressing his lips into the other, rougher ones, wrapping his arms around the strong man's muscular torso and stood there still, savoring the feeling of lips pressed against lips, body against body, like he'd longed for so desperately.

Zoro's heart was racing out of his chest. He wasn't a suave or sensual guy, but he was straight forward and to the point, and when he wanted something, and the moment was right, he went for it, no matter how much his awkward, antisocial psyche tried to restrain him. The bartender kissed back. All the little doubts that lingered in his mind had cleared like the sky after a storm, and he felt perfectly elated. Sanji's slender body and soft lips were on him. The reality of the moment was sealed sweetly by the unmoving pressure of the gentle kiss. Clenching his hand tighter in Sanji's hair, he opened his mouth to lick and suck at Sanji's lips, which responded by doing the same, and soon they were moving like two crashing waves melting into each other. Their natural chemistry was harmonious, as if their bodies were vibrating at the same frequency, the intensity and perfection of it almost overwhelming. Zoro slid his hands down Sanji's body hungrily and planted a firm grasp on his hips, then lifted him suddenly, which elicited a small cry from the bartender, who was sat down on his bar like a drink to be served. Zoro kissed him fervidly, leaving his lips to plant a trail of open-mouthed kissed along Sanji's jaw and down his neck, sucking at the crook of his collar bone. The blonde let out a soft moan, trailing his fingers up and down the rippling muscles of Zoro's back with desire before nestling them in the soft green hair.

"Zoro, take me home."


End file.
